Marriage is hard work. In the beginning, it’s magical, romantic, and exciting. However, as the years go by it takes a lot of effort to keep your marriage running smoothly.
Not to mention people change as they get older, and often you aren’t married to the same person you met decades earlier.
The question on the minds of many couples is when does a little adversity at home cross over into needing marital counseling?
When Your Spousal Communication Breaks Down
No two marriages are alike. Couples bring their expectations and backgrounds to any union. While relationship dynamics are as unique as fingerprints, the most common reason for marital counseling is a lack of communication.
Couples could be arguing constantly or not speaking to each other for weeks at a time. They could be constantly criticizing each other or be afraid to discuss important issues like money or sex.
A breakdown of communication creates an emotional distance between couples, which is like throwing fuel on the fire of a troubled marriage. In many cases, re-establishing good communication in therapy can help correct the problem.
Partners Start to Keep Secrets From Each Other
As we talked about, bad communication is the culprit of most marriage problems. One effect is that couples begin keeping secrets from each other. Some secrets are simple, the amount of money spent shopping, for instance, others not so much.
Secrets can get as severe as partners cheating or hiding issues like substance abuse or gambling. Couples can recover from a partner having an affair, but it’s a hard, long road with no guarantee of success.
The American Psychological Association (APA) reports that approximately 75% of couples engaged in Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) find success. The other 25% are typically in a toxic relationship where therapy simply won’t help.
When Your Sex Life Shifts Dramatically
A significant change in your sex life can be a sign that something is going on. This also includes having sex more often than normal.
Couples typically stop having sex because they no longer feel intimate with their partner, which echoes back to the importance of good communication. This is where both can look for ways through which they can spice up their intimacy again. For instance, they can include roleplay, sex toys, BDSM, bondage, or other such methods to bring intimacy back to their relationship.
That said, an unexpected increase in sex can signal feelings of guilt by one partner. Either way, there is an imbalance in the relationship. It could even be that the problem is that one partner wants lots of sex, whereas the other does not. In these cases, it might be worth looking into something like these zelex dolls to see if that could help take the pressure off both partners and their sex drives.
Sometimes the issue can actually be a physical connected to an emotional issue. Some men feel like they are not “good enough” in bed due to their penis size. Whilst you may not think that it is a big issue, men do see it as such. If this is the problem, which you might find out about in therapy, then there are ways to work through this. Telling them that they are enough can help, but they may look for a more practical issue such as penis enlargement surgery. You may be thinking – “why is penis girth important?” Well, there are pages that can help with providing you this information such as prometheusxl.com so you can talk this through with your partner and have an open discussion.
Many of these symptoms of a troubled marriage are connected and can be worked out in marriage therapy.
Tips on Finding Marital Counseling
If you’re reading this article, chances are you’ve decided to get help. The Braden Counseling Center offers marital counseling services across Illinois.
Don’t be deterred by the fake “stigma” attached to therapy. More couples than ever are signing up for counseling and saving their marriages. The Braden Counseling Center also sees clients dealing with domestic violence, substance abuse, alcoholism, and trauma.
Check out the center’s blog for more information and tips related to mental health.