When people divorce, up to 50% of the divorcees end up regretting it. Can couples avoid regrets by addressing issues before da ivorce becomes inevitable?
Concerned spouses might ask, “Why do people divorce? How can I keep my marriage healthy?” Let’s learn more about the causes of divorce and possible solutions.
Why Do People Divorce?
According to Psychology Today, the top issues people list as reasons for divorce include:
- Lack of compatibility
- Constant conflict
- Lack of intimacy
Some couples have a “final straw moment.” People divorce after a money disagreement, a drug overdose, or a fight, but the final straw follows a long history of differences and disagreements.
How Counseling Can Help
The good news is that counseling can help couples resolve differences before they lead to a “final straw” moment. Instead, learning new skills can help couples reduce marital tension.
Lack of Compatibility
Since no two people are completely compatible, each person in a relationship has needs and wants that might clash with the needs and wants of a partner. People also change over the years as their paths diverge.
With counseling, partners can learn to actively listen to each other, be mindful of feelings, and rebuild trust.
It’s not necessary for partners to do everything together in order to be compatible, or to limit themselves to the same hobbies and activities. People who find joy in pursuing their own interests can find happiness in other parts of life, including their marriages.
Partners often disagree about bills, spending, and savings. Budgeting only resolves some of these issues. Money fights can actually be a reflection of larger issues.
Money means different things to different people, including success, stability, and security. Counselors can help each partner understand what money means to the other, and use communication and conflict resolution tools to make joint, fulfilling, decisions.
Moreover, with the help of counseling, couples can learn the importance of money and budgeting as well as how it can help them run the household better. For instance, if both the partners are employed, they can create a separate fund or savings account to collectively spend on basic house requirements such as food, house bills, house renovations, and paying for a home paint job (check out more information on My House Painter GA or similar company sites), regular repairs, kids school fees, and more.
This can help a couple to find a balance between their personal lives and the life they share with each other. Moreover, it can be a good method to create equality between both of them to reduce the conflicts related to money.
Frequent arguing can leave both partners feeling disconnected and emotionally drained. While both partners want to be validated and understood, communication can devolve into criticism and contempt.
A good counselor can help couples build attunement, compromise without name calling and yelling, and calmly resolve issues.
According to the Institute for Family Studies, infidelity is the main reason some marriages end. While for other marriages it is the culmination of a marriage that is eroded by conflicts, incompatibility, and substance abuse. These long term issues can be addressed by counseling.
Couples may also use counseling to save the marriage after one partner has an affair. The recovery is a long, hard road with no guarantee of success, but it is a way to work on tools and underlying issues.
When partners no longer feel intimate with each other, their physical relationship can deteriorate. Needless to mention, sex is an important part of any marital relationship, not finding satisfaction in which can be a solid ground for divorce. This lack of satisfaction happens, in part, because of the lack of knowledge in men about how to eat a woman out and make her sexually satisfied, and in part because women aren’t vocal about their sexual needs. That being the problem, a counselor can help in both the cases. In the former, by putting the couples up with a sexologist, and in the latter by helping bridge the communication gap.
Addiction can grow from the same underlying conditions as other marital disagreements. Counseling helps participants address causes of addiction, work through anger and resentment, learn mindfulness, and combat fear and anxiety.
Start Working on Your Marriage
If you’re asking, “Why do people divorce?” and worried about finding the warning signs, let us help you strengthen your marriage.
Contact us to make an appointment with a qualified marriage counselor.