Your spouse is, for better or worse, your life partner. They are the one person that you should be able to trust and share with more than anyone in the world. In order for a marriage to be successful and healthy, there needs to be crystal-clear communication on both sides.
It is no surprise that couples cite poor communication as the number one reason for breaking up, with a lack of honest communication featuring as a justification on the majority of divorce papers in the US.
If you want to make your marriage work, you need to learn how to open up. Honest communication will ensure that your spouse truly can be your life partner, in every sense of the word.
Important Things to Remember When You Open Up
We have plenty of experience delivering couples therapy exercises that are designed to help partners open up with each other. Here are some of the key things to remember about opening up effectively.
Accept That Not All Feelings Are Valid
It is important to remember in couples therapy that just because you might feel angry or even vindictive towards your partner, you are not necessarily justified in feeling that way. If your partner is asking for a divorce because you’ve been neglecting the marriage, try not to get defensive. If a divorce lawyer phoenix az or a similar attorney from your area does get involved, you need to realise that your anger isn’t going to help the situation. If you’ve been neglectful, your partner has more reason to be angry than you do. Keep an open mind and try to see things from your partner’s perspective.
Understand the Difference Between Thoughts and Feelings
Clear communication depends on solid cognition, which is the process of distinguishing between what you are feeling in the moment and what your actual thoughts are on the situation.
Never Be Judgmental
You will not be able to have effective communication with your partner if they feel they cannot open up to you. That is why it is important to keep any judgmental thoughts you have to yourself and allow your partner to express how they genuinely feel.
Directly Describe What You Are Feeling
The most important part of good communication is being able to put what you are feeling into words. You should take the time to write down exactly what you are feeling, whether that means you are feeling hurt, sad, angry, or confused.
How to Approach Your Partner
When approaching your partner in order to open up to them, there are a few ways you can approach it in order to ensure that the conversation is beneficial for all parties. First, never broach the subject when you are both tired. There is a saying that you should never go to bed angry, but staying up late to hash out your problems is the worst thing you can do.
Never pounce on your partner or hit them with a “we need to talk” message. Instead, raise the issue during a normal conversation. Explain why it is important for you to have this conversation, and why you value your relationship with your spouse. Finally, always listen carefully to what your partner is saying, rather than simply thinking of the next thing you want to say while they are talking to you.
Book Professional Marriage Counseling Today
If you are ready to open up with your spouse and improve your marriage, we are here to help. You might be Googling “couples therapy near me.” However, with online couple’s therapy, you can receive the counseling you need, no matter where you are. To find out more about how we can help, do not hesitate to get in touch with our friendly and professional team today.